Updated: Jul 16, 2019
Effective today, it is my pleasure to bring to you #thoughtfultuesday. The intended purpose of #thoughtfultuesday is to share inspiring and impactful messages, information, and lessons as I navigate my wholeness journey. To honour my creative and healing process, I cannot predict the format of each weekly post as it will evolve intuitively. I invite you to join me on this rollercoaster of a journey. In recognition of your divine process, please feel free to be as involved as you'd like to be. I am open to discourse around each topic and would love to hear your story and/or perspective. If you find these sort of movements highly annoying, I respect that entirely. My only ask is that there is not a manifestation of hate or destruction.
What is the difference between healthy discourse and hate/destruction? I asked my mentor this question when I recognized a continual pattern of attracting destructive relationships into my life. His first caveat pertains to awareness. If we stay in our awareness and do not become consumed by hurt or anger, we have access to our higher cognitive functions such as empathy and intelligence. This may sound relatively simplistic, but is much more difficult to practice when a wound is triggered and we are in the rabbit hole of a trauma response. A tip I have used in this situation is inspired by Brene Brown (it just so happens that this was also my 2018 New Year's Resolution), "Embrace the suck." As humans, we are hard-wired to avoid pain. Although this has primitive roots and was a necessity for survival, our mind cannot decipher the difference an emotionally "dangerous" situation and a situation where we are actually on the verge of death. The best thing we can do is give ourselves time and space (even for a few seconds) to breathe and not react impulsively. What would Brene Brown do? Brene repeats her tag phrase "Embrace the suck" to avoid impulsivity and encourage acceptance of what is arising. The second caveat is to know your intention, which my mentor refers to as "having a warm heart." If your ultimate goal in having a difficult conversation is to find some common ground, understand the other person's perspective, or to better one another, your heart is likely warm. I know that I am not Jesus (shockingly I wasn't born of immaculate conception, can't walk on water, and don't have male gonads), but if you are driven to make someone feel as shitty or shittier than you yourself feel, then it may be an indication that you need to look within. Many times, the projection of our baggage is rather subconscious, which circles back to why awareness is recommended first.
My intention moving forward with this week is to attempt to embody the message that everyone is doing the best they can within the limitations of their resources. I have found it rather easy over the course of the last couple of years to feel disheartened by my interactions with people, which creates a rather cynical and depressed Sherise. Admittedly in this space I become judgemental, which doesn't align with being a highly actualized version of myself nor is it the type of world I would like to inhabit. I leave you with a quote from Richard Rohr that sums up this post quite beautifully, "If you don't transform your suffering, you'll transmit it."
Keep it real my comrades,
P.S. Just in the case that you are in need of a little extra motivation as I was this week, I have included this kick ass TED Talk by David Brooks. This man speaks to my soul. Enjoy!